Professional advice needed!!

I'm not a professional. Based on your post, in my opinion, you just don't trust your dog. When reading it it looks like he is a stranger who lives with you, but you'd never put your eyes off, so he won't back stab you.
Dogs can read your mind. They know how you feel. They can smell your energy.

Hi thanks for your reply! Well after I put him on his side I made him get off the bed and immediately used the "out" command which he understands from border training him to not go into the daughter's room. at which point he sulked out of the room immediately and lay down outside, staring in. From there I bnought my membership to this site and immediately did some reading up. I started out with the alpha dog pdf, which most of which I was doing but learnt a few new things like how nudging with his head for attention is bad and staring and sitting at our feet while eating. But I have never let him go through a door before me and do what ever I should to keep my alpha dog position. I don't think he has any question about who is the alpha dog.

My wife does not train him at all. She just can't be bothered to until she needs him to get out of her way or off her lap or what ever. He has always felt that he is a higher level than her and made it quite evident. I've decided not to let him on the bed anymore as I just remembered that the last time he put his teeth on her was when we me and him were laying down together and she came to join in the cuddles. He is seems very jealous. Also, play fighting around him (not with him) has been known to be problematic as he really has no no ability to discern between play and real. To be honest the daughter (who has realized that if she doesn't train him he will think that he is her "boss" and might consequently bite her) takes a much more active part in training him than the wife does.

I wouldn't say she is nervous of him. Quite the opposite. She is too comfortable. I have to remind her constantly that he just climbed up on her and she didn't call him, or that she is petting him because he was nudging her hands. She thinks I am being too hard on him for not allowing those things. But then again, she is the mother of a human child, and very good at it. So that's the way she knows to show love.

Yes he does have parts of his body he doesn't like being touched. His main area is his back side (legs, ubove his tail and his tail). When we did aggression training with him, we did what we could to desensitize him to those area's and the things that made him nervous (people's feet and my daughter). so we pet him with our feet (the daughter just pet him with her hands) and pet him really gently on his legs and his tail. Since then he seems fine with those areas and feet and now absolutely adores our daughter. So this was a very big shock as it seemed like we took care of his issues.

I've done some reading about dog body language and it seemed helpful but it's hard to tell what position he does just from reading. they all look the same. I know when he is about to snap though. usually his ears are flat down, he sulks with his head but looks up at you with his eyes and his tail is between his legs. Also he stiffens up and takes very tiny steps. That's the stance he takes when we really have no idea what he is upset about. for example:

we train him everyday before feeding him. no longer than 5 minutes and it's always very light and happy training. normally he is exicted and playful when we train him for the sake of training, it's just when he knows he is about to get food for being trained (very bizzare... almost like he is over excited or else really peeved that he has to work for his food). Also, he piddles on the floor abit in that stance. This is very strange to us because he will only act like that in a training session before eating. in that stance he is suseptable to aggression if we aren't paying attention to the signs. The only time I have seen him act like that not towards food was when a buddy of mine (who refered me to his trainer) tried to get acquainted with him. and it wasn't just a piddle, it was almost a whole roll of paper towel worth.

With that being said, when he outright snaps like he did with my wife, it is without warning and impossible to predict. I almost wonder if it his way of warning as he always stops right when his teeth barely touch the skin. Still not ok though even if it is a warning. when the daughter pesters him (she gets told by us when she does) he will give her a soft growl and she immediately knows she is pestering and stops. it's very different than the warning he gives my wife.

Hi there,
you wrote;

My wife does not train him at all. She just can't be bothered to until she needs him to get out of her way or off her lap or what ever. He has always felt that he is a higher level than her and made it quite evident. I've decided not to let him on the bed anymore as I just remembered that the last time he put his teeth on her was when we me and him were laying down together and she came to join in the cuddles. He is seems very jealous.

I would think this is the basis of your problem. It is easier to teach your dog to behave with strangers or visitors, than to teach a dog to respect someone who is living in the house ( with them sabotaging your efforts )....I think that you need to tollerate that your dog will behave this way around your wife until the point that your wife says 'enough'....or the other option is that you do some scare tactics on her A dog that has the confidence to bite a loved one may bite a stranger or child etc etc. I can read that she is a loving mother so you could try to use some examples of how she might behave with an unruly teenager or a disrespectful child and what actions she would take. Try to get her to see that by encouraging this rude behaviour is not good parenting....
It's great to see you understand your dogs tender areas, and train regularly...I think it' s all sounding really terrific!

Keep us posted with any other problems...
Annie

Hi there,
all that sounds really good. I think it´s just fine if someone in the house doesn´t do formal training with the dog. But demanding respect, being the Alpha and often ignoring the dog is needed. I really hope you can find a good balance, but it sounds great so far.
post again if more issues come up.
Annie